Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Brief Introduction

Hi readers, I figured I would do a brief introduction before I start my blog on this struggle I've been carrying with me since the day I got married.

My name is Kit and I have been married to my wonderful husband, Chris for almost four years.  Our anniversary is coming up on August 8, 2008 (yes in the number of 8/08/08).  We did the right thing - dated, had a wedding and bought a house.  While we were enjoying our newly married lives and settling in, we decided it was time to start trying for a baby....if we took it seriously.

At that moment, we were in the "if it happens, it happens" phase.  But as time went on and we became more aware, we realized time was ticking.  At least I thought I did.  One year went by = negative pregnancy tests. Second year went by = negative pregnancy tests....until December (of 2010).  Three pregnancy tests later, I was pregnant! Our families were ecstatic until the day after Christmas did I start feeling the symptoms of what you would call it, a period.

I will never forget that moment.  It was a gray but bright morning and Chris and I were sitting on the couch watching tv.  I started to feel really crampy and my heart started to race.  I texted my sister, asking her is this normal to have this crampy feeling while you're pregnant? I got up to go to the bathroom and boom, something I never wanted to see - a bright bloody mucus right in the toilet.  I started howling no and Chris ran up to me.  It confirmed our biggest fear - we had lost the baby.

Being new to this whole thing, we ran over to the emergency room.  We went into the room and the doctor performed an ultrasound on my sac, but she couldn't find the baby.  Then they had to perform an exam on me and the doctor said that my cervix had been opened a little, confirming that I did had a miscarriage.  They took my bloodwork for hcg levels and we went on our way.

I called my gyno doctor's office and informed them that I had a miscarriage.  They took me in right away so I could see my doctor.  Now here is the confusing part: He believed that I had a false pregnancy and that I couldn't have been 4 weeks pregnant, seeing that he had just seen me back in November of 2010.  He refused to perform an exam to double check and basically did nothing for me.  I went home and that's when my life really began to struggle in trying for a baby.

So here it is:

A) I was 4 weeks pregnant, had all the symptoms of a pregnancy and my cervix was open, therefore resulting in a miscarriage.

or

B) My doctor decides he wants to be a jackass and tells me it's a false pregnancy.

So my journey begins.

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